18 Months Old

Dear Emeline,

It's been awhile since I've last written you, but I've decided that from here on out, I'm going to write to you every six months and document in small ways the time that passes in between.  My hope is that these letters will hold a special place in your heart one day and not be something you grow tired of.  

Gosh, it sure has been a journey my little love.  These last six months have been filled with moments of pure joy and moments that have brought me to my knees.  There have been days that just work.  We work.  I teach, you listen, we play, you learn and we simply have fun.  But then there are days that are just off from the moment you wake up.  These days make me feel like I have failed you as your Mommy.  But, I know you have your own struggles with independence and finding your own way without the ability to accurately communicate to me.  I know in my heart of hearts that I have not failed you and I'm the best mommy I know how to be.  Every day will get a little easier as you learn to communicate and I learn how to navigate these toddler years.  Choices have been the answer so far.  I always give you choices and that works until you don't like either choice or until you want both...  We're still learning.

No one has ever said raising a child would be easy.  I didn't want you for the challenge, nor did I want you for the love you would one day show me.  I wanted you for all the moments in between.  I love you for all the laughs and the endless smiles you give me - the proud smile, the longing smile when you are away from me, the loving smile you couldn't slap from my face and the squinty-eyed, ear-to-ear smile when you make me laugh with your silliness.  I love you for the wisdom you have bestowed upon me in your short 18 months - your kind loving nature towards anyone and everyone, your ability to make everyone in the room smile, the way you engage people and make them laugh.  I swear you make someone's day every day and any where we go.  You are teaching me how to be a better wife, mother, daughter and friend.  My shortcomings are your strong suits and every day your sweet innocence is helping me to be a better person.  I used to be a pretty selfish person; often caring for the latest fashion trends that I wanted to add to my wardrobe and what I wanted next to decorate our home.  I can feel those desires slipping away daily and I have you to thank for that.  It's been freeing to think about you and Daddy way before I even think of myself and what I want for me.  Now the thoughts that consume me are -  What can I do to make Daddy feel loved and appreciated today?  What can I do today to make your day - whether it is a fun craft indoors, a learning adventure, an exploring adventure outdoors, a play date, a cuddly mommy daughter day at home - whatever your need is for that day, I want to fulfill it.  The point is, I now wake up and care about the important things in life.  Thank you for freeing me from my selfishness.  I love you for helping me rediscover my own wonder and innocence.  As an adult, you can get lost along the way and forget the simplicity of life.  My favorite moments with you have been our simplest moments like - taking bubble baths together and giving each other bubble beards, jumping together at bounce houses and hearing you giggle with every bounce, giving you piggy back rides and running in 20 different circles in our back yard to hear you squeal with delight, playing babies with you, putting pretend make-up on each other, chasing bubbles around the backyard, painting or crafting our latest masterpiece and our quiet cuddly moments of reading with you in my lap.  I live and breath for these moments.  Today, because of you, I find my greatest joy in life's simplest moments.  I love you for everything you are today and for everything you will one day be.  I love you for you and I'm honored to be your Mommy.  When I started out on this parenting journey, I wanted to be your Mommy because I wanted to share our love and life with you, but what I didn't realize was how impacted and forever changed I would become once you shared your love and life with us.

Loving you makes my heart explode with happiness,

Mommy 

Here's a peek into your world at 18 months old:

• You have started singing to songs along with Mommy and your favorite right now is Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  The only actual words you can sing in the song are 'up above', but you say 'up above' anytime you want me to sing it to you.
• Thanks to Grandma, you also love The Itsy Bitsy Spider again.  She captured your attention with the hand motions and now you can do the spider and the rain with me.
• Another favorite song is the Wheels On The Bus and I use it to my advantage during diaper changes since you have decided you dislike them.  A lot.
• This month you have started saying 'bye-bye tee-tee' when Mommy or Daddy flushes the toilet and you can flush for us now too.  With that I've been putting you on the potty when I change you.  You last about 3 seconds before you want off, but at least you aren't scared anymore.  Small steps toward potty training when you are good and ready. 
• You love to drink from our water bottles now and can do so successfully without any big spills. You also can attempt to put the cap back on, but don't have the screwing down just yet.  
• This month you started to laugh at times during your shows and certain kid songs that I play for you in the car.  You are starting to find your own humor in life. 
• You have started helping me dress you.  So far, you are helping me put your shirt on by pushing your arms through.  Thank goodness I no longer have to search for your arm to pull it through!  You also take your pants or shirt off in the middle of the night now.  Silly goose. 
• You have really started to imitate my motherly skills especially towards your babies.  The other day, you were feet from me and didn't notice I was watching you.  You put two babies in your shopping cart, took your bow from your head to place it in your babies hair (unfortunately for you, she didn't have hair!), picked up your purse and threw it on your shoulder and began pushing your babies all while 'shushing' them to be quiet.  I was dying inside it was so adorable. You also imitate the way I cook, put on my make-up, shoes, jewelry, brush my hair, wash my body, talk on the phone, etc.  Basically you are watching every move I make down to the hand motions Daddy and I make.  You like to mimic us when we talk with our hands.  We've had some good laughs from that. 
• You can now walk down the stairs by holding on to the wall or railing. 
• You love to wash and sanitize your hands still.  You can wash you hands by yourself if I let you. 
• Recently you have been squatting when you poop.  Funny story - the other day, you went outside with Oskar and George and followed them to where they go potty, then you proceeded to squat down and pretend to potty too.  Daddy and I were cracking up.  You are so silly!
• You can kick a ball and when it's nice outside we go outside and kick the ball around the backyard. 
• Your balance has really improved lately and you can balance on one foot while holding on to me as I put your shoes on.
• We are amazed at how well you follow instructions and the amount of words you understand now.  I couldn't put a number on the words, but it's just about everything we say to you now. 
• You also love to help Mommy clean.  If I hand you a wipe or a wash cloth, you either clean your face and hands or walk around and clean everything in reach.  Another one of those imitations...
• You have started to refer to yourself as 'baby'.  You won't yet tell me what you want by using your words, but you will say 'baby' and hand me something or point to something you want.  It's a start. 
• When we ask you 'what's your name?', you say either 'Mime' or 'Eme'.  It melts our hearts every time.  
• You are saying about 30 words now.  Maybe more.  Again, it's just so hard to keep track of, but you continue to pair words together.  My personal favorite this month was when you said 'bye-bye night-night Mime'.  You were ready for bed!
• You got some blocks for Christmas and love to stack them.  I think the most you have stacked is 6 blocks.  
• You understand when things are hot and help me blow your food.  You've been doing this for sometime.  I just forget to write about some of these things...
• You try really hard to put your own shoes on, but lately you are really into putting on Mommy and Daddy's shoes.  That you can do and you love walking around the house in them.  I need to get a picture of this!
• The temper tantrums have begun!  When we say no, you lay on the floor and throw a good ole' fit.  
• You have a new fascination with Elmo and love to play the Elmo ABC and Elmo 123 app on the Ipad.  It's the first 'game' that actually captures your attention.  
• You can wink now! It's my new favorite face you make. 
• You took your first trip to NYC this month and felt real snow.  You loved it, but you are a Texas girl at heart.  The winter is not your favorite season.  You had a blast though and loved every second of the giant piano at FAO Schwartz. 
• We also celebrated your second Christmas and what a magical day it was!  We had both sets of grandparents with us and our friend we affectionately refer to as 'uncle' Braden - he's great with you!  We all had a really wonderful holiday until the stomach bug took us by storm.  I don't need to document that one...