Moving Forward, but NOT Moving On

The longer our fertility journey goes on, the more I realize I need to move forward with my life.  This past year has solely been about mine and Kris’ fertility.  I’ve devoted myself to research, doctor’s appointments and changing every aspect of my life that I can to help improve our success.  Now, I’m not moving on from those goals, I’m just moving forward and devoting myself to something else I hold near and dear to my heart…animals.  Volunteering at an animal shelter has been something I have wanted to do ever since I left my job.  Month after month, I continued putting it off because in my mind, I would be pregnant very soon and because of the many diseases these rescue dogs sadly have; it’s not a place for a pregnant woman.   I’ve now put my selfishness aside for a greater cause.  I want to give these poor innocent animals a chance at life and I know one person can make a difference.  Starting in January, I will be volunteering 3 days a week at 2 animal rescue organizations.

Corridor Rescue Inc.

http://www.corridorrescue.org/

There is a place on the Northeast side of town, entirely too close to home for comfort, off 59 and Little York named the Corridor of Cruelty and Neglect.  A place so inhumane it’s nauseating.  This area of town is the dividing line between the county and city Animal Controls, so no one is coming to rescue or relieve these poor innocent animals from their pain and suffering.  They are sent to a life of wandering around aimlessly, starving, disease ridden and often times abused.  Many of the people in this area throw away these animals as if they are garbage and think nothing more of it.  It is the mission of this organization and now mine, to save lives and correct this injustice to hundreds of physically and emotionally damaged animals.

For the Corridor Rescue Inc., I will be both a feed station volunteer and a dog visitor.  As a feed station volunteer, I will go out to 59 and Little York (with someone else for safety) and give these animals food and water.  The organization has feed stations for two miles throughout this corridor and the dogs we find are fed daily.  It will be my duty to document the dogs we encounter that day and email the other volunteers.  That volunteer’s job is to then find the funds needed to rescue the animals and then find the appropriate animal shelter, vet clinic or foster home.  I know it may sound like a long process, but because of Facebook and other online resources, we can reach a vast amount of people quickly and bring these doggies home.  

My second volunteer job with CRI will be a dog visitor.  Once the dogs are rescued, some will be placed in Abbott’s Animal Clinic, where I will visit and show them what it is like to be loved and cared for the first time in their lives.  Because I am a feed station volunteer and a dog visitor, I will be able to watch these dogs transform into pets ready for their forever homes.  I chose this job, because I believe in this process, I believe we can rescue a dog, sad, scared and abused and give him/her a chance at a real life. I’ve watched many success stories from this organization over the past year and it’s amazing to see the transformations.  Dogs quickly losing their fight to stay alive are rescued just in time and through medicine, training and lots of nurturing, they become happy, fun loving pets with a new life and a new family.

Volunteers for Animal Protection-VAP

www.VAPadoptions.org

VAP is a similar organization to CRI, where they rescue, rehabilitate and then place these dogs and cats in their forever homes.  For VAP, I will be a dog visitor as well and provide food, water and love to the animals until they are adopted.

I’m looking forward to moving forward and having a new focus in my life.  Our fertility will always be my number one focus until we bring a baby into this world, but I need more meaning in my life right now.  I have the time and resources to make a difference and I need to make a difference.

Two Negatives Make a Positive

The words “severe male, low ovarian reserve” are five words I can’t seem to get out of my head.  We saw Dr. Dunn on Wednesday to go over what went wrong and to discuss our new plan of attack.  Once we sat down in his office, he showed us his computer screen with the results of my blood work and ultrasounds over the past couple of weeks.  At the top of the screen was his diagnosis and it read those five simple words that I can’t move on from, “severe male, low ovarian reserve”.  How do two negative words like “severe” and “low” somehow turn into something positive?  By praying for a miracle, that’s how. 

Since the new discovery of my low ovarian reserve, we have decided to be as aggressive as possible for the second round.  I will be on the same medications as before, just on the highest dosage possible.  My dosage will be increased by 50% and we have no idea how it will affect me or if it will even work, but it is a risk Kris and I are willing to take.  Our new plan is to start birth control right after I start my period and two weeks from that point go in for an ultrasound.  This ultrasound is my baseline ultrasound and it will tell Dr. Dunn how many follicles I have to start with before any medication is introduced into my system.  If I have less than 8 follicles to begin with, then I will be on birth control for one more week, followed by another ultrasound.  If at that point I have 8 or more follicles, we will move on with the injections.  However, if again I have less than 8 follicles, the cycle will be cancelled before I start the injections and we will repeat the same cycle until we get the results we are hoping for.  At my baseline ultrasound a month ago, I started the cycle with 7 follicles, so in my mind, 8 follicles will be an easy goal to achieve.  Dr. Dunn joked about praying over my ovaries, but we may just do that!  For now, Kris and I have to continually strive to believe that our two negative diagnoses’s can give us a positive pregnancy test.  Two negatives make a positive, right?