A Look Back

On February 17th, one phone call from our caseworker saying we had been chosen by a birth mother, changed our lives forever.  Here is a look back on the events of the last three weeks.  We may not have been able to bring this baby home, but she will always be in our hearts.  Every March 8th, on her birthday, we will think of her and remember back on this time.
  
Her name is Ella Jane. We are still waiting to meet our Emeline...


One week after we got the call that we were chosen by a birth mom we left for Pittsburgh to meet her:

Right before we left to have dinner at The Melting Pot to meet the birth family. I'm not nervous at all - nope! 

A snowy afternoon in Pittsburgh.

And one week after we returned home; 2 days before her due date, our incredibly loving friends threw us this shower to celebrate our baby girl:

Oskar showing off his sister's bows!

On March 8th, the day of our daughter's arrival, we flew back up to Pittsburgh to bring her home:

Right when we landed in Pittsburgh I got a text with the most exciting news!  Our baby girl was born at 2:20 pm and weighed 8lbs and was 20in long.

The very next day we got to meet her.  Our hearts were overflowing with love.  We couldn't take our eyes off of her.  She was and is amazing in every way.  The precious moments we shared with her will never be forgotten.  We held her, kissed her, fed her, burped her, she smiled at us, stuck her tongue out at us and finally opened her eyes for us when it was just Kris, I and her birth mom in the room - everyone else had left.  It was a magical moment, one I can't erase from my memory no matter how hard I try. 

This picture breaks my heart. He was so in love and awe struck by his baby girl.  

As close as we've ever been to becoming a family.  

 After two hours of sleeping in our arms, she finally opened her eyes! 

These were our final moments with her.  

As we left, the final words of her birth mom and now mom were, "tomorrow you're going home with them".  And two hours later, we got the devastating call telling us that this wasn't actually the case. Our birth mom had decided to parent her baby girl. 

We hope Ella has an amazing life.  We know she is very loved no matter what, but it breaks our heart to know the kind of life we could have given this precious baby.  She deserves nothing but the absolute best. 

Her name is Ella Jane.  We still hold on to hope that we will meet our Emeline one day...

Heartbroken once again...

Today has been the absolute hardest day of our life.  And I hope it will always remain as so.  


We lost our daughter today - her birth mother decided to parent.  


As soon as I am able, I promise to write about our story. The past three weeks began as the most remarkable time in our life, but ended today in complete devastation.  Today we mourn the daughter we will never see again. The daughter we love with all our hearts.

A Valentine's Day for the books.

I LOVE THIS MAN.

He's not only my Valentine, but my everything. 

I'm now a firm believer that Valentine's Day should be celebrated in the comfort of your own home. No fancy overpriced dinners (that are never as good as if you visited any other day) and no crappy service because the restaurant is overcrowded and too busy to give you the service you deserve - just you and your love in the house you've made a home, together. 


Our Valentine's Day was perfect in every way. For us it's not only Valentine's Day, but the day our love story began. Nine years ago, Kris stole his first kiss and I've been head over heels ever since. 

My favorite color roses. 

Dinner by candlelight just the two of us. Oh and who could forget the mini schnauzers at our feet! 

Lobster Mac and Cheese - yummy!

Oskar stealing a kiss after dinner. 

George speaks with his eyes. Can you tell? 

My one and only.

After dinner, we decided to open presents. In the middle of opening my presents, Kris hands me a letter. He comes over to my seat on the bench, wraps his arms around me and begins to play 'A Woman Like You' by Lee Brice. Sweetest. Moment. Ever. I'll never forget it. 

Last Friday, we went to Fight Night (a marriage seminar of sorts) at our church with some friends and during the speech, we were taught three lessons. One lesson was called 'withholding' and the idea is to tell your spouse three things (2 positive and 1 negative) that you thought about them during the week and withheld due to life and busy schedules. Kris said he's been listening to this song and every time it comes on, he thinks of me and this was his 'withhold'. My heart melted...


My love note - 

Last night, outta the blue
Driftin' off to the evening news
You said "Honey, what would you do
If you'd never met me"
I just laughed, said "I don't know,
But I could take a couple guesses though"
And then tried to dig real deep,
Said, "Darling honestly...

I'd do a lot more offshore fishin'
I'd probably eat more drive-thru chicken
Take a few strokes off my golf game
If I'd have never known your name
I'd still be driving that old green 'Nova
I probably never would have heard of yoga
Be a better football fan
But if I was a single man
Alone and out there on the loose
Well I'd be looking for a woman like you."

I could tell that got her attention
So I said, "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention,
I wouldn't trade a single day
For 100 years the other way."
She just smiled and rolled her eyes,
Cause she's heard all of my lines
I said, "C'mon on girl, seriously
If I hadn't been so lucky

I'd be shootin' pool in my bachelor pad
Playing bass in my cover band
Restocking up cold Bud Light
For poker every Tuesday night, yeah
I'd have a dirtbike in the shed
And not one throw pillow on the bed
I'd keep my cash in a coffee can
But if I was a single man
Alone and out there on the loose
Well I'd be looking for a woman like you."

She knows what a mess I'd be if I didn't have her here
But to be sure, I whispered in her ear
"You know I get sick deep-sea fishin'
And you make the best fried chicken
I got a hopeless golf game
I love the sound of your name
I might miss that old green 'Nova
But I love watchin' you do yoga
I'd take a gold band on my hand
Over being a single man
Cause honestly I don't know what I'd do
If I'd never met a woman like you."

I love you my baby
Thank you for being you and exactly you
I wouldn’t change a thing about our life…

I won the husband lottery.