There used to be a
cradle in our bedroom.
There used to be a
bouncer in both family rooms in our house.
There used to be a
closet in ‘her’ nursery stocked
fully of baby girl clothes and drawers full of bows, frilly socks, pretty
pink blankets and girly burp cloths.
There used to be
hope that we would be a family.
Now, behind a closed door in the nursery…
There is a cradle.
Two bouncers.
And an empty closet and empty drawers.
All of ‘her’ things had to be returned and/or put away - it
was just too hard to see them or to hold on to them and there are no certainties
that we will ever bring home a baby girl.
If we are so blessed, we will simply start over fresh, buy new things specific
for the next baby and in doing so; our hope is that the process will open our
hearts.
You see, there used to be hope that we would be a family and
now we are left with broken hearts and guarded souls.
I feel empty.
I am so sorry Ash, I wish we could take the pain away for you both. We love you and Kris very much and have faith that someday you and Kris will have your baby. We pray for it daily and will continue to do so.
ReplyDeleteSo I hadnt been blogging or even reading blogs for a while now cuz Ive been too busy to really do much of anything...but I was reading this today at work and I couldnt help but cry...I miss you girl and if you ever need to talk hopefully you still got my number! I think about you and I pray for you and Kris...you both deserve the best and I know it will work out. Love ya
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