We Live to Fight another Day…

As my husband so eloquently defines our situation.  On Saturday, we went in for my first ultrasound and blood work appointment since starting the injections.  Since it was Saturday, there was an on-call nurse instead of my regular nurse, Gloria and Dr. Dunn was enjoying his weekend at home as well.  I give you these details only because the on-call nurse gave me some worrisome days and sleepless nights this weekend.  I won’t bore you with the details, but there was one particular mature follicle that gave the on-call nurse a reason for concern.  After my blood work came in, she called Dr. Dunn and reported back to me that we were at risk on cancelling the cycle if things didn’t look better on Monday.  I know there must have been some miscommunication along the way, because what she told me that morning and what she told me that afternoon were complete contradictions.  Nevertheless, I had some unsettling emotions the whole weekend and the “what-ifs” started playing in my mind again.  Plan B is in motion right now, so if this cycle were to be cancelled, we would have to move on to Plan C.  As of now, we don’t have a Plan C, but Dr. Dunn anticipates that Plan C will unlikely involve a biological child.  I hope you can understand my fears this early in the process.  Kris and I aren’t ready to give up the fight for a miniature Kris; chunky with stark black hair and a grin from ear-to-ear or a miniature me; again chubby, with a head full of hair and a button nose.  Can’t you just see him or her now?

Here’s the good news-I spoke with Gloria, my regular nurse this afternoon and I now have 7 measurable follicles that are still small, but my estrogen is high which means the follicles will hopefully increase in size this week.  The one mature follicle we were originally concerned about was actually mature before we even began the medications, so we are to completely disregard that follicle.  If my follicles do mature this week, I will have an egg retrieval early next week and Kris will have a testicular biopsy to remove his sperm that same day.  And then…we wait for a miracle!  We know each day is a fight and each day a blessing, so for now...we live to fight another day.