A Word From Grammy and Papa

As I was creating our profile book, I realized how very important each word really is.  There is a lot of pressure in this tiny book.  We are asked to create a book explaining who we are as a person, a couple and as a family and what kind of parents we will become.  The first day I started writing I was consumed by the pressures and had writer’s block, but the next day, my heart just started pouring out.  I love what our book is becoming and in the days and weeks that it may take to complete our profile, I will start sharing certain pages of the book with you.  

For now, here is a letter my parents wrote to our baby.  I asked both sets of grandparents to write a letter to the baby explaining their love and desire to welcome this baby into our family.  I will include these letters on our ‘Loved Ones’ page and my hope is that it will not only make our profile stand out among the rest, but also show that Kris and I aren’t the only ones who are waiting patiently to welcome this baby into our world.

To our grandbaby:

We can’t tell you how long we have prayed for you to come into our lives.  You are our first grandbaby and we can’t wait to love, spoil and teach you how important family is to one another.  Your mother has dreamed of you her whole life.  We watched her as a child taking such sweet care of all of her “baby dolls”.  We knew in our hearts then – she was born to be a mother.  We are writing this with so much love in our hearts and tears in our eyes.  Your sweet, loving family is waiting patiently for the day God brings you into our lives.  We love you already.

                                                                                                All our love,

                                                                                                Grammy and Papa

A Prayer for James

The mohawk was a joke and is now gone.  After all the comments on FB, Kris actually considered keeping it.  Just joking!

A colleague of Kris’ is having brain surgery tomorrow and in honor of his fight, many of his friends and colleagues shaved their heads.  James is actually the man responsible for recruiting Kris into investment banking at Credit Suisse.  Kris told James recently that there were many times he praised his name and many more times he cursed it.  The truth is; we wouldn’t be where we are today if it weren’t for the simple fact that James believed in Kris.  Now, I’ve never met James, but have heard so many wonderful things about this man.  I’m truly grateful for the opportunity he gave us.  Although Kris’ stint in investment banking was difficult at times for both of us, it’s opened many doors and brought many wonderful opportunities our way that we wouldn’t have otherwise had.  Please pray for James and his family today, tomorrow and always for their fight isn’t over.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”

                                                                                                                 ~Plato

UPDATE from James himself the day after surgery:

I just met with my doctor and learned that the brain tissue removed
yesterday was a fast-growing tumor (either a grade 3 or grade 4
astrocytoma). In two weeks, I will begin the maximum dosage of radiation
paired with chemotherapy. This phase of my treatment will last for six
weeks, and will then be followed by another six months of
chemotherapy...and perhaps some experimental drugs. I wish I had better
news, but I wanted to be honest with everyone. Feel free to ask
questions.

Please keep the prayers coming for James and his sweet family.

Big Steps

Over the weekend, we took the first big step to starting the nursery.  Well, actually two steps!

1.       We ordered hardwood floors and they should be installed next week!

I can’t tell you how excited this makes me!  By the end of next week our nursery will be a blank canvas for me to start designing a lovely space for our baby.  Over the past two years, I’ve envisioned this nursery in so many different ways and even in different rooms of our house.  Although, I’ve never designed a gender neutral nursery, I already have so many ideas that I just can’t wait to see all come together.

2.       We cleaned out the dog room/storage closet

These next photos may scare you, but all of these things were perfectly organized in the closet prior to us pulling it out and dissecting each box. 

There are three piles - one for a garage sale, one for holiday décor and one for the attic, garage or another closet.  We have officially cleaned out and organized every single closet in our house.  It was a huge task; let me tell you, but it feels so good to be finished.  Everything in our home is either something we use or a keepsake.  We are clutter and junk FREE!  Our neighborhood garage sale in October could not come soon enough.  As they say, “one person’s trash is another person’s treasure”. 

Taking the first steps toward beginning the nursery have been surreal to me.  The adoption process right now has been very slow and at times, doesn’t feel like we are making any progress towards Baby Simpson.  Just knowing by the end of next week, I will have an empty room with beautiful hardwood floors in it makes me incredibly happy.  Kris, don’t be surprised if you see me sitting in the empty room dreaming of our future.

Photography + Quotes

Two of my favorite things!

Yesterday, I stumbled across a photographer and graphic design student named Julian Bialowas.  He is doing a 365 day project where he posts his own photo with an inspirational quote, every day for an entire year.  I’m an instant fan and will be purchasing a few of his photographs for either my guest bathroom or bedroom.  

Each photograph is $3 and he will immediately send it to your email and you can print it wherever you would like.  Again, huge fan!

Here a few of my favorites, mostly because they are lessons I have learned either in everyday life or through our fertility journey.  Hope you enjoy!

The Dreaded Home Study NO MORE

In all honesty, our home study interview was quick, easy and PAINLESS.  We were in and out of Gladney in less than TWO HOURS!  Remember, they told us to expect to be there for 4-6 hours.

I have to admit, just as every other adoptive family does after the interview – it is completely overhyped.  There is no reason to stress.  I won’t deny it is an important part of the adoption process, but really it’s just a formality.  They want to see you have at least thought about the answers to these questions.  There is no right or wrong answer, just your honest feedback.  If you think about it, the questions pertain mostly to your life, so you wrote the test.  How could you not pass it?

Our interview went a little like this:

We sat down in a conference room and in front of us was our caseworker with our file and a stack of papers equivalent to the thickness of a 300 page book.  It was a little intimidating at first, but as we began to answer the questions, page by page, it began to dwindle quickly.  Kris and I answered all questions as a couple; I had a little input, he had a little input, but we made sure neither one of us were speaking more than the other.  As we answered the question, our caseworker began to write down our response.  It didn’t matter how eloquently you responded, because she wrote down single words and sometimes even forgot some of the points you made (how could you keep up?!).  That’s how I know it can’t be that important, because so many of our thoughts were not recorded and will be forgotten.  As time went on, I tried to crack a few jokes and lighten the mood, because the routine became tedious– Ask question, answer question, write down response, move on.  There was little talking in between and I sought out this opportunity to possibly get to know our caseworker a little more. 

Before we knew it, we had completed the couple’s interview and it was time for our one-on-one interviews.  I started while Kris waited in the lobby and when I was finished, we switched places.  These questions were focused on our childhood, our relationship with our parents, their parenting style, our marriage and each of our strengths and weakness.  Again, easy stuff – it’s our life.    

After our individual interviews wrapped up, we all met back up together and went over any questions we may have and next steps in the process.  We did get an update on when we can expect to take placement of our baby.  With our openness, we can expect to bring a baby home within 12-15 months, but because we are more open than most, it will likely happen sooner.  She didn’t want to say an estimated time frame, because no one knows and she didn’t want to get our hopes up, so we will expect something to happen within 12-15 months.

From here, we wait to hear from the local casework to schedule our home visit and in the next 4-5 weeks we should finally be approved and ready for birth moms to view our profile.  I did receive the okay to begin working on our profile book and I will start chipping away at that this week.  The goal is to have our profile book done by the time we are approved and that way there are no delays on our part.  The profile book is the final portion of the adoption process that we have control over and after that it’s in God’s hands.  Losing control will be very hard for me and I’ve always recognized that about myself, but we just have to continue to have faith in a greater plan and everything will be alright.

The Dreaded Home Study

My first adoption book refers to the home study as, “the infamous and anxiety-provoking home study”. 

I couldn’t agree more.

The home study is one of the biggest stresses in the adoption process, second only to waiting for your baby to be born and for the birth family to sign the relinquishment papers. 

For those of you who don’t know what a home study is, I’ll explain.  It is the process by which you get approval from the state you live in to become an adoptive parent.  You cannot adopt without it.

The home study is a two step process. 

Step 1: Interview with your caseworker – This is a 4-6 hour long interview where you are asked questions both as a couple and individually.

Here are the questions Gladney sent us in order to prepare for our home study:

1.  Why have you decided to adopt?

2.  How do you cope with grief and loss, stress and disappointment?

3.  What plans have you made for your child’s future, including child care plans?

4.  What social, educational and career goals do you have for your prospective adopted child?

5.  What traits do you imagine your child to have (physical, personality, talents/abilities, etc.)? 

6.  What qualities do you have which you feel would make you a good parent?

7.  If married, in your opinion what do you feel you have as a couple to offer a child?

8.  Identify the losses you feel associated with your decision to adopt and those you imagine you may feel as an adoptive parent.

9.  What are the losses you think a birth parent or birth grandparent experience?

10.  Does your extended family support your plans to adopt?

11.  Think about the losses your future child will experience as an adoptee.  As his/her parents how will you help your child adjust?

12.  Why do you think it would be important for birth parents to have some openness in the adoption process and to receive pictures and letters from you post adoption?  How will the child benefit?  How can you as the adoptive parent benefit?

We were also told by fellow adoptive parents that we will be asked the following questions:

1.  Describe how you met and fell in love.

2.  How do you deal with conflict?

3.  How do you deal with finances and work?

4.  What do you think your parenting style will be?

5.  Describe the strengths and weaknesses of your spouse.

6.  How would you change/improve your marriage?

7.  How would you describe your sex life?

8.  What is your childhood best and worst memory?

9.  Describe your relationship with both your parents and siblings.

All questions are thought-provoking questions that I think should be answered, but some are certainly intrusive (namely the question about our sex life).  A lot of these questions, Kris and I knew the answers to immediately because they are things that we have thought about for some time now, but questions centered around our parenting style and how we will discipline, are questions we had to sit back and contemplate.  We are taking a parenting class at church right now and coincidentally, our first class was yesterday.  That single class helped form our opinion on the type of parents we will strive to be and from there, we deciphered our parenting and discipline style.

Step 2: Home Inspection

This is exactly what it sounds like.  For us, a local Houston caseworker from Gladney will come to our home and she will be looking for the following:

1.  Smoke detectors

2.  Fire extinguishers

3.  An emergency fire ladder

4.  Baby-proofing paraphernalia – we don’t have to use them quite yet, but they want to see we are making a commitment to safety.

5.  All hazardous chemicals and cleaning supplies removed from floor-level cabinets

6.  All windows and doors open and close properly

7.  A start to the nursery – this can be as simple as cleaning out the room.  The nursery doesn’t have to be finished.

8.  A clean and tidy household

Are you stressed just looking at our to-do list?

Although this may be a stressful process, I get why we need to prove our merit and worth to become parents.  To the birth family, it is extremely reassuring to know that the home in which they place their child is a loving family who will do anything and everything to give this child a stable environment in which they can thrive.  And that’s exactly who Kris and I are and what we desire.  

You may be wondering why all this talk about a home study now.  Well, the interview portion of our home study is tomorrow!  We will drive to Fort Worth tonight and tomorrow at 9:30am we begin the intense grueling question and answer session.  Say a prayer for us please.  Last week, I was extremely emotional and nervous (poor Kris).  I wish I knew why, but all I know is, I woke up on Saturday feeling like a new person.  The emotions were gone and so were my nerves.  I feel good about this now and feel very prepared for any questions she may throw our way.  We have nothing to hide and over the years (8 1/2 now!) we have created a wonderful life for ourselves that we just can’t wait to share with our children.

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Dr. Hard Rock?

Or is it Dr. Rock, Hard??

Funny story – Kris purchased our trip through Jetsetter and someone thought it would be a funny joke to name our reservation Dr. Hard Rock instead of Kris and Ashley Simpson.  Not Mr. Hard Rock, but DR. Hard Rock!  That makes it even better.  Once we arrived at The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, we get to the check-in desk and they can’t seem to find our reservation.  It’s not until they move us to the private check-in desk that we find out it’s because our Jetsetter reservation is under Dr. Hard Rock.  Now, I know there is a language barrier, but these Hard Rock employees didn’t seem to see the coincidence or think it was as funny as Kris and I did.  The humor soon turned into frustration as the week went on and we were still known as Dr. Hard Rock, but there was one moment when someone called Kris Dr. Rock Hard and I about peed my pants!  All the frustrating moments of not finding our name in the system were worth that one comment.

Another great story from our trip was from again when we were checking in.  We purchased the Caribbean suite and they put us in a partial ocean view room on the 1^st floor.  I don’t know about you, but we don’t want to look at the landscape on the 1^st floor, so we respectfully asked if we could be on a higher floor.  I also ever-so-politely asked if we could have an ocean view room.  Now, I know these rooms were set aside for timeshare owners only, but it never hurts to ask, right?  Great lesson to learn, because guess what – we were upgraded from the Caribbean Suite (least expensive room) to the Presidential Suite (nicest suite they offer).  The Presidential Suite is a grand 2400 sq ft suite with two bathrooms, a kitchen, dining room, living room, bedroom and breakfast area, all with a hot tub and wrap around balcony.  The elation we felt when we walked into our suite was very similar to our excitement when we first saw our villa at the St. Regis in Bora Bora.  It was amazing.  We got such a great deal on this trip that when I thought we were staying in the Caribbean Suite, I didn’t think they were making any money off of us and I felt guilty.  Now I knew they were losing money from our stay in the Presidential Suite.  Just goes to show how nice the Dominican people really are.

We went from this Caribbean Suite (with a king bed)...

To this Presidential Suite!

Here is the second half of our suite.

And the balcony.

Our complimentary welcome package upon arrival.



And this view free of charge!!

Enough about our room, but I'm so grateful to the employees at the Hard Rock that made our upgrade happen.  The trip wouldn't have been quite the same without it.  With adoption costs and other costs associated with just having a baby, we wanted a more pocketbook friendly beach vacation this year.  We certainly got that, but with a touch of extravagance as well.  

Kris surprised me with this trip and the idea was to get away before all the stresses that come with adoption are upon us.  His timing was perfect because our home study is next Tuesday and home studies are known to be one of the biggest stresses in the adoption process.  If you know us, when we go on vacation, we need a vacation to recover from our vacation.  We are the couple that dives in to the local culture and tries to do anything and everything unique to the location we are in.  Our goal is to fully immerse ourselves into the traditions and scenery of where we are visiting so that we don’t feel the need to return one day and we can move on to the next vacation spot on our list.  On our trip to the Dominican Republic, we did just the opposite.  We spent every day on the beach or poolside and just soaked up the sun and scene.  It was exactly what we needed and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.   

The weather was absolutely perfect while we were in Punta Cana aside from a quick rain shower every evening at dinner, but that is typical to the island life.  Kris sent me an email this morning titled, "Timing is everything".  I opened it up and found out, Tropical Storm Emily is on its way to the Dominican Republic this week.  Somehow, I don't think this was a coincidence.