"A Little Bit Stronger"

I know my heart will never be the same

But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay

Even on my weakest days

I get a little bit stronger

Most of you have probably heard this song by Sara Evans.  I don’t really listen to country anymore, but came across this song recently.  The song doesn’t pertain to my situation, but I can’t help but think the chorus portrays exactly how I’m feeling.  I continue to have my good days and my bad days, along with my moments of weakness and moments of sheer strength and determination.  And Kris and I continue to hold onto hope that we will one day bring children into this world somehow, someway.

For now, we are mourning the biological children we cannot have and deciding (given our situation) what we really want within our realistic possibilities.  Do we want to experience pregnancy by borrowing genetic material (egg/sperm donation) or adopt a baby and give that child a life they couldn’t otherwise have?  As I write this, the latter sounds much more appealing, but it doesn’t come without mountains to climb, countless risks and plenty of potential heartache that today, I cannot fathom.  We have opened our hearts to God and are looking for signs to pull us in the right direction. So for now, we wait and we pray.