Never Lose Hope

After 17 injections, 10 blood tests, 6 ultrasounds and 1 acupuncture appointment (20 more needles); our IVF cycle has been cancelled.  Much to our dismay, my body was not responding like it should for my age to the medication.  At this point in the cycle, I should have had 5 “good” follicles, yet I only had 3 follicles total and only 1 “good” one.  My estrogen levels were rising just as they should have, but I wasn’t producing the follicles I needed to.  It could have just been a bad cycle for me, but we won’t know for certain until we try round 2.  One of Dr. Dunn’s nurses said the first round of IVF is really just an experiment; it’s a trial and error game of not knowing how your body will respond to the medication prescribed.  The good news is Dr. Dunn is creating a new plan of attack with all new medications.  My body knows what to do now, so with any hope, our second round will be easier.  We see Dr. Dunn again in two weeks and we will have a more definite plan and timeline.  However, with the holidays and our family trip to Tahoe fast approaching, we may not be able to move forward until after the New Year.

Kris and I are really saddened and disappointed by this news.  We had prepared ourselves for an unsuccessful round of IVF, but we weren’t prepared to not even be given the opportunity to complete one full round.  It’s difficult to not get discouraged by the new developments, while knowing we already had such a hard fight ahead of us, but we won’t give up and we won’t lose hope.  As we go further and further down this path, I realize my blog title “Road to Hope” is very appropriately labeled.  As strongly as Kris and I believe we have faith and hope at that moment, it can so quickly be taken away from us with one test, one phone call.  Our “road to hope” will be a constant struggle, a constant fight, but we will never give up on our dream and never lose hope. 

"Hope is something very abstract. It can't be quantified, and, at times, it can't be explained.
But it's important. Never lose hope in the world. Never lose hope in humanity. Never lose hope in your loved ones. Never lose hope in yourself. Never lose hope that things will get better.
As long as there is life, there is hope. And where there's hope, there is life.
Hope gives us strength. Hope gives us something to look forward to, something to hold on to. As long as you have hope in your heart, anything is possible.
Hope is essential to a happy and fulfilling life. Never lose hope."