Fun times ahead!

In the next three weeks Kris and I have many exciting events to look forward to!

1.       This weekend we are taking an impromptu trip to Austin to see our beloved Longhorns once again with our friends, Jason and April.  We haven’t been to a game in Austin in years, so we are thrilled.  Just being on campus is going to bring back so many wonderful college memories.  

Hook'em!

2.       Kris is having his procedure on Wednesday and we will know that day whether or not he has a blockage!  Then on Thursday, I meet with Dr. Dunn’s nurse to go over the medications that I will be on.  I’ve started birth control, which is the first step, but I’m looking forward to really getting the process going with the next round of medications.  If everything goes as planned, we are looking at an egg retrieval around Thanksgiving.  Now, that’s something to be thankful for!

3.       My much anticipated Audi will be here next week!  We sold the RAV 4 a week ago and I will admit that it’s somewhat bittersweet.  The boys and I have had so many fun trips together with Oskar in my lap and George in the passenger seat.  I’m really going to miss those moments and so will they. We did buy a cargo net and the boys will still ride along with me when they can, but they’ll be trapped in the back.  I just have to remember, they are safer secured in the back.



These sweet moments will be gone, but not forgotten.

4.       Next weekend, we are taking a trip with our friends Brian and Margaret to Margaret’s home town of Oxford, MS.  Kris and I are going to our very first Ole Miss game!  We can’t wait to experience Ole Miss tailgating and all that is Oxford!

5.       Two weeks from now, we are taking another trip to Austin to attend Wurstfest, a German festival, with our friends Tye and Dani.  We went two years ago and had a blast.  This year Kris and I wanted to dress up for the occasion, but we couldn’t get Tye to play along.  Maybe next year!

Here is a picture from two years ago. I told you we had a blast!

We have so many blessings in our lives that we certainly have not forgotten.  We have a wonderfully supportive family and friends that are family.  Thank you all for the fun times that keep us smiling when life get tough.  We love each and every one of you!

"Don't Stop Believin'"

“Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey has always been one our favorite songs and I think it should be our theme song for our journey through infertility.  The lyrics send a great message of never giving up hope or never giving up faith in something important to you.  Every time Kris and I hear this song, it puts a smile on our faces and the lyrics will continue to remind us to, “Don’t Stop Believin’”. 

            With that being said, we received more good news this morning!  Kris and I woke up on this Monday morning with an email from our urologist.  We expected to receive Kris’ test results today, but not at 7 am!  We are continually amazed at how quickly our doctors are moving to get us the answers we have been searching for.  Kris and I are truly blessed to be in the care of these amazing doctors.  Dr. Khera informed us that with Kris’ hormone levels, he believes he may have a blockage.  A blockage is an easy fix and we have always said that is our best case scenario.  If Kris has a blockage, most likely we will still have to proceed with IVF because of my Endometriosis, but our chances for success are considerably higher since we may no longer have male factor infertility.  Right now, we are waiting to hear back from Dr. Khera’s staff to schedule Kris’ procedure.  He is nervous because neither he nor I have ever been under anesthesia, but anxious to receive the final verdict.  I promise to keep everyone updated as we receive new information, but in the meantime, “Don’t stop believin’” in our miracle baby.

Oh Happy Day!

Remember the hope and optimism I was struggling to find earlier this week?  Well, WE FOUND IT!  After five hours at the urologist, two blood tests, three urine tests and one semen analysis, we received good news! 

 Just to give you some background, a normal man’s sperm count is 20 million per ml and normal volume is 2.0 ml.  On Kris’ first sample he had 1.0 ml volume and a count of 12.  Yes, that was 12 and not 12 million.  On his second sample, sadly, there were no sperm or sperm parts seen.  Now for yesterday’s results...His count was 2.1 MILLION!  Can you believe it?  Kris and I were thrilled by this news and it reminded us again that anything is possible.  Dr. Khera, our urologist suggested we freeze the viable sperm just in case we are to ever need it.  We may never get results like this again, so we agreed!  As of today, we have Kris’ swimmers in safe keeping just in case we run into any problems as we proceed with IVF.

You may be wondering why we are so excited by this news, because his count is still very low.  Well, when you start will 12, then go to 0 and now 2.1 million, you have hope.  Hope that there is a blockage, hope that a successful IVF is easier to achieve and hope that the thoughts of not ever having a biological child are no longer on the forefront of our minds.  We’ve been told to take each victory as it comes, no matter how small, because you never know when the next batch of good news will come your way.  So we did.  Cheers to 2.1 MILLION!        

A new season, a new emotion

Our anniversary officially marked one year of baby making. It’s been an exciting year, but also one of trying emotions. With each new season, grew a new emotion.  Here is a look at the last year of our life.

In the Fall of 2009, more specifically September, we were excited and eager start a family.  Work was going well for both of us and Kris and I were looking forward to beginning the next chapter.  However, over the next month my anticipation of a baby was overshadowed by my stress level at work.  I had a boss that was no support system; a boss who simply delegated while he talked on the phone and surfed the internet.  He had two assistants who essentially ran the office, and I was one of them.  Our office was the highest volume office in the whole company, but was so unorganized it was bound to blow up at any second.  Well, it seems as though his time was up a couple of months ago and he was fired for just that, as well as his very long track record for treating his employees unfairly (really like dirt!).  I digress…Back to where Kris and I were emotionally.  In October and November, we teetered back and forth on whether or not I should move on from Stage where I could be happy again.  Our thought process was to remove stress from our lives as much as possible.  It had been a few months since we started trying and both Kris and I lead very stressful lives at work.  We knew this was not helping our situation, so I put my two week notice in around Thanksgiving and shocked my whole division.  Everyone was saddened by my news, but very supportive and never blamed me for leaving.  So on December 11^th, I walked out of the Stage Store doors for the last time, with my new found freedom in tote and never looked back.

This brings us to the Spring of 2010; the season of frustration.  Month after month went by and still no baby.  I watched my friends have a baby or get pregnant and as time went on and as happy as I was for each of them, watching and experiencing those moments, only got harder.  The Spring was really a stagnant season for us in the baby making department.  In April, I made the decision to see my OB/GYN just to make sure there weren’t any problems that we were not aware of.  A month went by and finally my appointment day arrived.  One blood test later and my doctor had deduced that I was not ovulating every month and prescribed me three rounds of Clomid.  Finally, after many enduring months, we have an answer (or so we thought)!

Now, it’s the summer in Texas and I’m hopeful, but hormonal.  See how time flies when your life revolves around your cycle? In June, I started my first round of Clomid, our magic pill, and my symptoms weren’t so bad. I experienced slight mood changes, hot flashes, headaches, fatigue and pain in my ovaries.  Then came July and I was at the same 50mg dosage, but my body knew what to expect this month, so those symptoms from the month prior were even stronger.  In both June and July my body did what the meds told it to and I did ovulate, but for a reason yet to be known, I wasn’t getting pregnant.  So I began my final round of Clomid, now at 100mg.  Those headaches I mentioned before turned into migraines, the fatigue became pure exhaustion and my abdomen swollen and sore, but I would endure any pain for the sake of our baby.  In August, my best friend who haunts me every month arrived and I had to make the call to the doctor that Clomid failed to work.  Her nurse called back to tell me they could no longer help us and that we needed to see a fertility doctor.  I hung up the phone and because I was hormonal, the tears started flowing.  I spent the next week or so researching doctors and through our insurance, I found the man that will help make our dream come true.

Here we are now in the Fall of 2010.  So far this season we have felt sad, helpless and disappointed, but that’s all about to change. I’m struggling right now, but I will find the courage to be optimistic and hopeful once again. On our first anniversary, we made the decision to start a family and on our second anniversary, coincidently we had our first meeting with Dr. Dunn our fertility doctor.  As for our third anniversary, well, we think it would only be fitting to welcome our miracle baby into this world. Now wouldn’t that be special?  

Just an ordinary day

On the morning of Tuesday, September 28^th, Kris and I woke up and treated this day as if it were any other day.  He kissed me goodbye and went off to work and I started getting ready for my doctor’s appointment later that morning.  I had my very first ultrasound and though that may not sound scary, the rush of emotions you feel by starting the fertility process are.  My friend and neighbor Jenni, who I would later realize was a godsend, went to my appointment with me for moral support.  At the time, Kris was unable to sneak away from work since he was scheduled to fly to Palm Beach that afternoon for an investor meeting.

 I arrive to check in for my ultrasound and find out that I will be seeing the doctor as well.  This is not normal practice, so I felt very nervous something was terribly wrong.  Thankfully Kris called just as I was checking in to say he was on his way, which was a huge sigh of relief.  I immediately went back and had my ultrasound followed by 15 minutes of pure agony waiting on both Kris and the doctor.  Eventually, I was called back to meet with Dr. Dunn and just as I sat down, Kris walked in the door and I could breathe again.  Then in walks Dr. Dunn with these very sweet charismatic eyes and immediately goes straight into our test results.  I love this about him.  He knows we are in high anticipation of why we are in his office unscheduled and he refuses to make you wait and conjure up small talk.  He places Kris’ semen analysis results in front of us and began to explain the shocking results.  This is the moment when our lives would forever be changed and so unexpectedly.  My heart sank and my world turned upside down. Kris and I were blind-sided by the news that we will never be able to have a baby the good old-fashioned way.  

I wish I could tell you that the bad news stops here, but unfortunately it doesn’t.  We then proceed to go over my blood test results only to find out that he believes more than ever that I have Endometriosis.  In short, Endometriosis affects reproductive organs and compromises fertility.  As well as having Endometriosis, the quality and quantity of my eggs are not where Dr. Dunn would want them to be for my age.

Understanding all three of our issues, our only option at this point will be to proceed with In-Vitro Fertilization.  We lost our dream of having a baby naturally, but we are ready to face the road less travelled, hand-in-hand and with high hopes.  We have a difficult road ahead of us, but both Kris and I realize this journey will only make us stronger. We will cling to one another and support the other when one falters.

In the end, we woke up on this Tuesday believing it was just an ordinary day, but it will forever be marked in our hearts as a day that changed our lives.  I will never forget the events of this day and how it all unfolded. I believe more than ever that people are placed in our lives for a reason and Jenni was meant to be there with me to hold my hand when Kris was unable to.  Our path is uncertain, but we know somehow, someway, we will come away from this journey with a child to love unconditionally.

Waiting on a baby...

It seems as though I’ve spent a good part of my life doing just that.  Waiting on a baby… As soon as I was old enough to know what it meant to have a brother or a sister, I knew I wanted nothing more.   I begged and pleaded for years and as most of you know, I’m an only child and that dream never came true.  I wasn’t concerned if it was a boy or a girl; I just hoped my sibling would play babies with me.  That’s right; I was a mother from the start.  I remember time after time, my mom telling me the exciting news of someone else having a baby and while she was happy for them, I was just plain sad I wasn’t going to have a new playmate.

Well now, fast-forward the clock a couple of decades and the same brown eyed girl just a little taller now, has the same dream, but only a child of her own this time.  This blog is meant to document our story, our journey through infertility and the one miraculous day when we are finally blessed with the ultimate gift of a child.  Welcome to our world and I hope you enjoy the ride as much as we do.